Deep looking

It is the mind itself that is searching for the Self, because deep down it knows of its own limited potential, and yet, at the same time, it continuously attempts to be the Self to compensate for the lack of success in finding it.

The more the mind fails at finding and faking the Self the more one will suffer in life desperately trying to fill that black hole of existentiality.

It is this suffering which moves some humans to the path of Self-discovery, specially because the Self is not ought to be found as the mind believes, the Self is to be dis-covered. It is always here, it has always been here, and it will always be here, for some it is simply covered by mind-stuff, thoughts and beliefs.

The mind eventually learns that attention can be shifted from mind to body, from body to mind. From outside to inside, from inside to outside. From gross to subtle, from subtle to gross. From something to nothing, from nothing to something. It may even learn that attention needs not be limited by duality, it has the ability to focus on many things at the same time.

It is this very shift of attention that shows the mind that the world is impermanent, unstable, ever-changing. Things come and they go, thoughts come and go, feelings come and go. They do not remain. It is also this very experience of ever changing that allows the mind to recognise that which is unchanging, timeless and eternal, for there is That which does remain, That which does not come and go, and That is You. You are the Self, untouchable, stainless. All the rest came and went, came and has yet to go, or has yet to come, only to go too.

The mind will believe for sometime that you are the object of your attention. If your attention is on the outside, the mind will believe that to be a fundamental part of you, and when it is on the inside the same will happen. And so, a period of being and not-being will be experienced. Now I am being myself. Now I am not.

"Now I am peaceful and calm, this is how I should be. Now I am anxious, this is not how I should be..."

"Now I am having a meditation experience, now I am having a spiritual experience, this is where I am supposed to be..."

"Now I have been able to maintain the state of meditation for much longer than before, I hope I can maintain it to the point of no return". Yet if there is a belief of a "right"-state and a "wrong"-state there is bound to be suffering. Whenever you manage to be in the "right"-state, blissful it will be. Whenever not, you will feel lost.

Magical thing is, all that which has been described in this text, is observable. It is truly magical, that all this situations, were all observed by consciousness. When your body was very very young and fresh, consciousness was there, and it observed everything, even if you don't remember, you know it was there. All your life it has been here, watching over your every step. Right now consciousness is aware of reading this text, and perhaps now it is aware of its own awareness. And even this is being observed by an even higher consciousness!

When you feel that "you" are present and here, and when you feel that "you" were distracted and not present. There is this One that is present in both situations. That One is much more important than describing a spiritual state or mundane state, an apolinious state or a dionysiacal state. The One that is always present, shift your attention to that One.

The One is unchanging and unmoving. It is like the center of a big airplanes propeller, all of it spins in tremendous speed and force, and at the same time, there is this One point which never moves, no matter what.

The Sun never moves, even though to our naked eyes it rises on one side and sets on the other. This is the confusion of the mind, it is more concerned with what moves, comes and goes than with what is unmoving. It is the earth that moves, as it is attention that moves from one object to another. The Sun never moves, it is always there, as Consciouness is always here.

As we dive deeper and deeper into this, it can be perceived that even here a shift of attention happens. There are times when attention is on the unchanging One, and times when attention is on the changing Many. And it will come to a point when attention will have fulfilled its purpose. Even this shift of attention to the One and to the rest is observed from a Higher Consciousness. It has to be made clear to the mind. You are not your attention. You are not the one who comes and goes, you are always Here.

This Higher Consciousness which has no quality, no name, no attention, no time, no form, no body, no thing, is it here now? Is it always here? Is this That which does not move from one place to the other as attention does?It doesn't matter what you did, what you're doing or what you'll do, This is untouchable, unbreakable, timeless and infinite.

How do you feel when realising this? That there is This which is always Here. No matter what happens, what happened or what will happen, it doesn't matter, nothing can affect This.

Now tell me, can you see your very eyes without a mirror? It doesn't matter how hard you try, it ain't gonna happen. So if there is This which always is Here. And it cannot be seen, or observed directly, and at the same time it can be known to exist. It can only be You.

This is You. All the things you have seen, that you have felt, thought, perceived and experienced were all observed, meaning they are not a part of you. Because they all come and they will all go.

Only This which you cannot observe is You. You are untouchable, stainless, unconceivable, you are before things.

You are not a thing. You are no thing. You are not a body. You are no body. You are not an identity. You are no person. You are no mind. You are Eternal Timeless Nothingness.

You are beyond concepts.

You are.

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